Random Obeservations 2/9/10

On sitting extremely close to strangers on the subway and other bouts of daily discomfort==> Like when your on the subway and a seat opens up that looks like it might be a bit snug—everyone stands around and looks at it and eachother--- today two identical tight squeeze seats appeared directly across from one another---. Seat A was next to a morbidly obese man with brown stained teeth who was dripping sweat from his forehead. Seat B was next to a group of unruly teenagers that were play fighting. Those of us wearily standing between two regrettable positions eyed one another to see what our fellow adversary would do next. For three stops the half dozen or so of us darted glances between the two seats, the stop on the train and each other. Luckily everyone, including the fat guy and the rowdy teenagers got off at the final stop on the train to kill the tension. A truly, monumental showdown was averted.

On cleanlieness and courtesy ( and why I hate dealing with city employees): Frantically spraying hand sanitizer onto her hands, she offers me a seat. She remarks if I’m wondering what the hell is wrong with her. I respond that I assume her use of hand sanitizer is to prevent the spread of germs. “That last guy had a bad cold, I don’t wanna catch his germs.” Half way through the meeting, her phone rang. In the middle of her conversation, she took out a nail clipper and started clipping her disgusting finger nails onto her desk. Very hygienic, I thought to myself. It was definetly one of those Larry David seinfeldesque moments.

On second chances, looks over substance and the stupidity of your typical male: After the attractive young star bucks associate noticed the screwup of my order, she fixed it by dumping chai tea into an already prepared caffe latte and mixing it about before handing it to me. I expected the taste would be less than palatable. Sure enough, it was inedible. It tasted like a cross between a cup of bad expensive coffee that used chai latte flavoring instead of milk or sugar. Fortunately, I was several blocks away when I made this discovery. I suppose that staring at her eyes and breasts had prompted me into the false hope that the obviously bad cup of tea I ordered would somehow be less disgusting.

The next morning I felt she was entitled to a second chance. Luckily there were no other patrons in the starbucks except yours truly. I made the same exact order and I anticipated better results. This time the concoction tasted like burned, steamed milk with a single drop of chai tea that was barely detectable. Every sip began with the expectation of a CHAi latté and ended with a frothy taststeless ride to nowhere. In addition, the ride to nowhere was ice cold after taking 5 extremely disappointing sips.

As I cursed the 5 dollars wasted from the shitty starbucks gift certificate someone gave me for Xmas on tea that I can barely bring myself to drink--I wonder…Is it possible that her pretty face has earned one more opportunity to ruin my hot morning beverage on a cold winter day? Definitely not. Well, maybe. As long as it's on the gift certificate and I'm not paying for it.

On jobs and salary:- What would happen if waiters, waitresses, strippers, bathroom attendants, valet parkers, delivery boys and bartenders worked only a solid base salary and the rest of us worked only on tips? I think that my food would be cold, my drink would be watered down, my car would would be scratched,the lovely young lady on the poll would not even pretend to laugh at my bad jokes and the service at my favorite resteraunt would be awful--- But as far as the rest of the product and service industry goes, American industry would be top notch. Anyone who could afford to be a professional anything would definetly be the very best at what they did. Although I suspect that the edcuational industry and other leeches in academia would promptly open up 4 year colleges offering degrees where B.S. stands for Bachelor of Serving or Bachelor of Stripping and B.A. would stand for Bathroom Attendant.